Glennon Doyle, author, activist and podcast host, describes the Friday–Saturday–Sunday rhythm of life. First the pain, then the waiting, then the rising. It follows the pattern of the crucifixion and resurrection of the Christ. Friday represents the pain. It is when we suffer a life-changing loss, fall, realization, breaking point or rupture. The moment when everything changes and will never be the same. It could be job loss, diagnosis, divorce, or anything that shatters your world. Saturday is the waiting. It is the liminal space between what was and what will be and is marked by suffering. You may feel disoriented, shocked, confused, and exhausted. It can range from uncomfortable to downright painful. It’s also necessary to walk through the suffering of Saturday to arrive at the joy of Sunday. Sunday is the rising. It’s the moment something within you begins to grow toward the light again. It feels like hope, peace or rebirth. It might feel like all of those things at once. Sunday is when we can perceive proof that life will be good again. It can also be the moment when we realize we’re ok and we look back on how far we’ve come with a sense of relief and awe.
When clients first come into my office, they’re usually at a crossroads. They describe something in their life that feels too heavy or too confusing to carry alone. The initial cause could be a loss, a betrayal, a fear, a transition, burnout, or an ending that left them feeling depleted and disoriented. They are in the metaphorical Saturday of life. They are in a period of waiting, suffering, and uncertainty. They’ve also arrived at a choice point that is ripe for transformation. Saturday is for rest and reflection. So, we settle into the therapeutic relationship where they can rest from the hustle, find stillness and empathy, and reflect.
This cycle is replicated across science and psychological theory. Think of a garden. In the fall months (Friday), things wither, die and return to the soil. Winter arrives (Saturday) where everything looks bleak, but below the surface the soil is preparing for growth. Then returns (Sunday), and new life is born. Life knows how to return not because we earned it or forced it, but because the rhythm is trustworthy. When we honor the waiting by getting to know its lessons, we allow healing to take root. That’s the gift of Saturday. During the course of therapy, a client will learn their well-worn patterns, emotion regulation skills, and mindfulness. Sometimes we’ll hit a speed bump in the form of a limiting belief and we’ll process it through to a new level of understanding.
Humanistic psychology, especially through the lens of Carl Rogers, reminds us that we each have an innate tendency toward growth, fulfillment and becoming our truest selves. Rogers called this actualizing tendency. Like a daisy pushes up through the concrete sidewalk towards the sun, humans naturally move toward healing when given the right conditions: empathy, unconditional positive regard, authenticity, and acceptance. These conditions are alive and abundant in the therapy room making it a hospitable environment for the client to grow into their truest, most congruent self. This is what we need most during the Saturday to help us get to the Sunday. Intuitively, we know these are the conditions we need to thrive, and that’s why so many reach out to begin therapy.
So, if you find yourself in the Saturday season, remember that hope is not lost and you are not broken. You’re becoming your truest self. The rising is coming.